


Two-Sided Love.

by GlazedDounuts



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 05:45:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16826350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlazedDounuts/pseuds/GlazedDounuts
Summary: Sehun is tired of Jongin avoiding any questions regarding their unmarked status together.





	Two-Sided Love.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at around 2A.M. after getting sad on music, and a depressing movie. :))
> 
> So don't expect this to be amazing, but I got a rush of emotion and I needed to write it out so it doesn't stay bottled up in my heart.

It was raining heavily outside but Sehun didn’t care, he needed to breathe. He needed to let out his thoughts, the same ones that have been haunting him for days on end. He needed out, he needed answers and he needed them from Jongin. Nobody else but Kim Jongin. 

“Why do you keep running away!” Sehun screams across the empty neighbourhood, as the figure standing in the middle pauses. “Jongin! Please!” 

Jongin soaked by the rain turns around with his hair stuck to his forehead, watching Sehun walk up to him. Sehun watches him watching, as Jongin blinks in acknowledgement slowly going into his default setting, and Sehun can see how Jongin is sinking, he was always sinking and Sehun realises that he’s drowning. 

“Jongin why do you keep doing this to me,” Sehun begins and his own words ring in his ears. “Every time you let me get close, you push me away. One minute you want to be friends, then the next you act like you wanna be more than that. Like..Like you wanna be with me.” 

Jongin’s eyes are narrowed, like a jaguar ready to pounce. “Why are you messing everything up?” 

“That’s what people do.” Sehun shrugs helplessly, taking a step closer to Jongin. “Humans have flaws and its normal—“

Jongin takes a step back, a scowl on his lips, betrayal in his eyes. “This stuff is fake, it freaks me out.” 

Sehun stares at him so intensely that Jongin looks away. Sehun is boiling with rage, everything these past weeks have been piling up on him and now they’re like a volcano ready to explode. He feels nothing but hot anger, unbothered by the windy rainfall. 

“Why are you so scared that someone wants to be with you?” 

And the penny drops. Sehun sees everything shift in a few seconds. He sees how vulnerable Jongin becomes, how his shoulders sag, his mouth parts open, eyes widen in fear, how he flinched at the words. 

“There is no such thing as love, it’s fantasy.” Jongin whispers amidst the heavy rainfall, but Sehun hears him clear as day. 

“Why do you think that Jongin? It’s not fantasy, it’s real.” Sehun grits his teeth in annoyance, at everything being still concealed. He can’t handle this anymore, his heart is beating too fast. “Is this because of your family? You don’t have to pretend when you’re with me, you never did. You don’t have to turn out like your parents, you do know that you have that choice, right?” 

Jongin can feel every drizzle sliding down his skin, soaking his clothes but his mind was a storm of it’s own. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you Oh Sehun.” 

“I can’t keep my feelings all bottled up like you,” Sehun’s voice rises, as his eyes fill up with tears. “I fucking can’t do it! I don’t know how you can pretend like I mean nothing to you, absolutely fucking nothing! You are literally on my mind constantly, Jongin, constantly. I really fucking like you. I even love you.” 

Sehun grabs Jongin by his arms, but Jongin is quicker he immediately shoves the latter away from him harshly, causing Sehun to slip on the floor with a dull thud and a small splash. “You don’t fucking love me, you love what I show you.” 

Sehun scrunches his face in confusion, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand as he lets out a small ‘what’. 

Jongin’s smile is hollow, as he towers over Sehun. “I show you want I want to show you, what will draw you in and keep you interested. That’s why there is no love, it’s a fantasy. It’s a pretend game, and you’re a fool if you think for a second that love can be anything but that.” 

Sehun feels dizzy, he wants to vomit. He needs everything to stop, because his head can’t take on all of this chaos. His heart was burning, but his will burnered stronger. “You’re a liar, you were your truest form when you were with me, as I was with you. You’re scared!” 

“I’m not scared!” Jongin roars in blind rage, his chest heaving up and down as he stares at Sehun. Searching his eyes trying to detect any lies, any deception but he found nothing but hurt in those watery orbs. 

“Why are you making everything complicated,” Jongin’s voice breaks at the end. “We are just friends.” 

“Don’t you dare say that, this isn’t how you treat your friends.” Sehun growls, finally rising from the grimy, wet ground. “You don’t treat them like you want to touch them, kiss them, hold them, go out with them, sleep with them. Literal sleep in it’s most innocent form. You don’t do that with friends.” 

Jongin balls his hand into fists, his knuckles turning white by the conversation. “I don’t care. Leave me. You aren’t the first, and you won’t be the last.” 

Sehun grabs Jongin with both hands, fisting a handful of a soaked jacket. “Why are you doing this? If you think you’re going to push me away with this act, then that means you don’t know me that well, Kim Jongin.” 

Jongin cold hands wrap around Sehun’s balled up ones as they both study the other for answers, for questions, for statements, for something. Jongin suddenly feels so exhausted by this fight, he can’t handle this, he doesn’t have the control in this thing they are both mixed in. He’s way out of his comfort zone. 

“Ever since I was a child, I always felt that I was floating outside of my body,”Jongin’s hand’s slip from Sehun’s as the other’s grip lessen. “I see myself and I don’t like me.” 

Sehun’s hands fall on either side of him limply, watching Jongin’s voice dip in various emotions he’s trying to swallow. “I hear myself talk and I am fucking disgusted. How I act, how fucked up I am. I hate it, I hate me. I-I…I’m afraid that I’ll never be able to like myself, I’ll grow old and my hatred will grow with it.” 

Sehun wraps his arm around Jongin’s shoulders pulling him close, gently rubbing his arm. Despite the heaviness in Jongin’s stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of their bodies pressed against one another. Jongin sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. Sehun’s touch made him warmer immediately somehow, Jongin’s life within the walls he built around himself seemed a little less bleak. 

“I love you,” Sehun says ever so softly, not letting Jongin go. “I understand and I am so, so sorry. I just needed to know.”

Jongin tucks his head into Sehun’s neck, slowly wrapping his arm around Sehun’s waist as he replies quietly. “I know.. I’m afraid that nothing can ever work out in my favour, I get anxious that if I have something good in my life, it’s gonna turn bad like karma..”

“I’ll wait for as long as you need me to wait…” Sehun looks at Jongin, their limbs still wrapped around each other as the rain subdued to a light shower. 

“I’ll try to make it worth while.” Jongin expresses faintly, earning a squeeze from Sehun who goes back to hugging him tightly that it makes Jongin laugh.


End file.
